April 1, 2010
The talking about “getting rid of”, “disconnecting”, “cutting ties to” used by unprofessional therapists who are NOT SPECIALIST in big trauma and DID and when working with big trauma and DID clients their words only reinforces what they already do, would better be replaced by the talk about “paying attention to”, “embracing”, “listening carefully to”….
What kind of trauma is your therapist specialist in?
May 18, 2009
Sam was reading the news from his RSS Reader…
and one was about new e-book reader device.
So he went to see the titles available at the manufacturer’s website,
and among the psychology titles there was this one that
I did find particularly interesting.
So I went to check it out furtherly by looking into
the book content’s and covers preview (at competition’s website).
We also googled the author and she turned to be
truly an academic/intellectual author (which pleased
our Intellectual Alter, as well – so not only The Bold One,
but other alters were satisfied with the finding :) ).
May 7, 2009
As it was announced in my (yesterday’s) comment under the post in which we allowed the “bad” part’s feelings to be expressed for the first time here, today is the day when we feel we are able to let The “Bad” One (not to be confused with the Bold One) express his feelings in his own voice, at his own blog. Which is not unlike when a child in family can be trusted enough to be able to have his/her own room, and does not have to be in a crib in the corner of the parents’ bedroom, anymore.
So, we proudly present our “Bad” One’s room/new blog made according to his/her own needs and preferences.
April 28, 2009
I felt it would not be fair to BTC and her readers to trigger them with my expressing the angry feelings at emotionally illiterate professional therapists over at BTC’s blog, so I will do it here, instead:
@ Dawn – Since you came here in the role of professional therapist AND were the one who has first used the extremely rude derogatory language as “pseudologia fantastica, mythomania, or pathological lying” instead of showing some maturer emotionally literate ways to establish contact with your prospective new clients, it revealed you as a therapist to be as low as possible on the scale of emotional literacy, the literacy without which you shouldn’t be allowed to work as professional therapist…
To conclude – instead of the client-therapist dictionary, illiterate therapists like you could really use some “Emotional literacy for completely illiterate professional therapists” guide.
.
—
Today I posted another comment along the lines of emotional literacy. Below I quote, copypaste, my comment from Kathy’s blog, here:
By implying that it was expressed instead of another (“correct”) emotion, the “correctness” ( = validity) of one particular emotion (be it anger or any other emotion) is being questioned.
And I don’t like emotions to be questioned!
They need to be acknowledged, firstly.
And, secondly, we need to learn a repertoire of creative ( = non-destructive) ways to express the emotion (all of them).
That’s all. Easier said then done, of course ;)
And another thing.
It is especially counter-productive to say to the traumatized client “you should look at the pain instead of expressing anger”. Nope! Learning creative repertoire of (non-destructive) ways to express the anger is all we need!
.
April 6, 2009
Here you can read my f…(…reudian not?) interpretation of what did a provocatively sounding fxckfeelings.com really want to say, but they failed :).
My interpretation is that what did they really want to say is revealed when the x variable – speaking in terms of computer languages – is assigned the right value. And the right value is ‘a‘, not the letter ‘u‘.
Why?
Because, what Dr. Lastnam* really wanted to say by “f*ck your feelings” is not that we should f u ck our feelings, but that we should (f…) acknowledge them and then do the right thing.
At least this is how I understand him and his ghost-writer after reading their inaugural posting.
On the other hand, they did f*ck up (here ‘u’ is to be inserted, though :)) their twitter post with a link
I am acknowledging it makes me feel good those Harvard asses can’t even make a decent link right ;) and I am going to do the right thing and publish my tweet with the right link. Oh, I just did it. :)
April 1, 2009
Actually it’s
NOT funny
anymore
because
one of our alters
changed it
to reflect
the truth
about DID
and have a good laughter,
click here
otherwise proceed with caution…
…
The joke… not funny anymore
One to change be used as a means by a perpetrator changing the bulb,
one to watch the abuse,
one to deny the abuse in the name of the bulb needing to be changed exactly the way it was done,
and one to repress the associations/memories/emotions about it.
…
Now, try to google the joke by clicking the link
“How many alters does it take to change a light bulb?“ (<– click)
and see
another joke
(this one made by google)
about
You must be joking, google, No! I did NOT mean letters
obviously making another (meta-)joke –
i.e. joke about the joke
– yourself, don’t you, Google?!? ;)
Meta-source: http://www.google.com/notebook/public/15007374035221757547/BDQgkQgoQyaHQ7_gj
March 31, 2009
(“voice” of) meta – interest / curiosity
(see our webpage on meta-…)
as the toughest yet most valuable outcome
of any therapy, “being confirmed”
(in this interview) by such a psychotherapy
authority as Irvin D. Yalom
…
…
for curiosity;
to fertilize this curiosity about themselves.
When people don’t have any curiosity about themselves
that is always a bad sign.
I keep trying to figure out ways to induce curiosity, even if
it’s by saying to them:
“how come I’m so much more curious about you
than you are about yourself?”
Source: http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-therapy/200903/seven-questions-irvin-yalom
Meta-source: http://www.google.com/notebook/public/15007374035221757547/BDQgkQgoQyaHQ7_gj
March 25, 2009
Lets do a little calculation.
An average parent makes at least one tiny mistake per day – it’s inevitable because an average one has other things to direct his/her attention to, not just parenting. I know, I am parent. If not ones’ own inner children (i.e. therapy and recovery process), then at least there is job or housework (if not both, or, all of the tree).
How many “sorry”‘s does then an average parent owe to an adult child?
If they immediately or during the day or within a reasonable delay manage to apologize for the mistakes done, then none apologies are owed. But such a parents must be exceptions to the rule.
The rest of (average) parents skip an opportunity to do it on several occasions.
Let us say it is a safe estimate to say at least once a week a parent skips an apology.
Lets multiply… once (1) x (4 weeks) x (12 months) x (18 years) = 846 skipped apologies.
A lot, isn’t it?
And remember we are talking an average (good-enough?!), i.e. non-abusive parent only…
March 24, 2009
I have shared – replying to David’s reply to Kathy’s blog post – how I died in order to get my life back ;-)
@ David – oh, my, I now understand a connection that was felt by some alters towards you despite the literary (intellectually) elitist defense that has frightened our other alters at your blog.
The alter, the suicidal (I prefer to label it self-hatred alter because I agree with my host that it is not the behavior but the extreme emotion what happens to be a driving force behind alters), you were describing above, is almost an exact copy of my self-hatred alter!
“(…) there is nothing that this alter admits to wanting, except wanting our shared body to be dead. S/he wants only the cessation of our existence”
Reading the above quote, I had to smile because that’s how he felt, and he was deaf to all reasons and arguments coming from the rest of us (our system) and encouragements that he, too, can learn to enjoy life if he only let us help him.
He hated to be offered (or getting) help by anyone at all (even more than I – the bold alter – do ;) )…
“(…) the only thing this alter ever does, aside from wishing we were all dead, is to sit in his/her room, watching static patterns on the television”
My self-hatred alter could be distracted by being shown the same cartoons over and over (any new cartoons would just make him want our body to cease to exist, no matter what.). Nothing could make him a bit happier or wanting to learn to enjoy life, those cartoons just distracted him (they didn’t make him any happier, though!). He had only one wish – to see me dead, and since I saw no other option but to let him express and fulfill his dream, a had a series of most vivid dreams.
In one of those dreams which I had in several consequent (consecutive) nights I have thrown my body on the knife (going through my heart and I died).
The other dream was of experiencing heaving brain stroke and I could see my brain dying one brain center after another – until there was dead body left on the bed and I was leaving the body).
The third dream was of our body walking, refusing to hide, in the middle of atom bomb attack, exposing to the explosions until the body was fried to death.
Making his dreams true in a way, make made him feel valid and acknowledged and his extreme feelings accepted by the rest of us (our system). It felt a kind of gift given to him by the rest of us that made him a satisfied little boy, and now being able to learn to enjoy life with the rest of us…
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