Below you can read my reply to Ivory’s reply to Kathy’s post at her blog.

She brought up to the surface an idea (I almost forgot about, thank you for reviving it again now, Kathy and Ivory) related to my own need as a childhood sexual abuse survivor to protest against – I won’t tell you in advance against what, I would prefer to invite you to read below against what and why etc

Ivory, or may I say dear Ivory?

You wrote “RE: #6: I have religious issues. For me, the abuse amplified the Deity in my belief, and erased any certainty I was important in His eyes. I can’t stop wondering, “Where was He?” I honestly believed that of all the people in my life, He would be the one to save me…”

I’d like to share with you my personal experience with the issue of religion, namely, God (those parts of me who don’t believe in God can still relate because they understand God as “representative of the whole society/community”, therefore everybody).

My personal experience made me want to hear God apologizing to the innocent children who were victimized because He did nothing about it!

And not only He is guilty for not helping at the time, but He is guilty also of not helping now by allowing some lay people (and sometimes professionals too to make it harder for survivors to 1. understand what happened to them, 2. to acknowledge, and 3. to get helped for it – because God lets people (like the DreamGuy at Wikipedia) to push their own denial on everybody else, not just on themselves by saying DID is mere pretending and iatrogenic!

I will only go to church when it will be written with large letters above the entrance “I apologize – God”.

Once I conversed with (another) survivor of childhood sexual abuse about the idea that there should be such a church somewhere because survivors do really need such a church, I said to her maybe  should it be called “The Church of The_Apologizing_God“?

She said it would be a good thing.

We feel it would be really a good thing because only that way God may be forgiven by the survivors for what He has let to happen to the innocent children!

Or I will tell God “be sure not to allow to happen it again, or you will be fired from your job, and we will find another god who will do his job better!”

She was laughing at my idea but she liked it anyway.  So I do.  Still. Even more now when you brought it up again, Ivory! Thank you and thank you Kathy for helping it being brought up!

P. S.
We were surprised to find there are – I couldn’t belive my eyes –  professional theologians  having similar ideas to the above idea when we stumbled upon a book titled “Facing the Abusing God” (written by rabbi Blumenthal who says we all should bless the act of fighting with God as the only means by which human dignity can be asserted in the aftermath of the holocaust and aftermath of the child sexual abuse, oh, there is even one blog mentioning the book, maybe I should write a blog post about it myself, too – a note to myself :) )

Googling for its title I was surprised to find a couple of  (I almost forgot there are other people writing stuff there, not only the DID deniers) Wikipedia articles quoting it, i.e. the  protest theology.

However noone else came up with an idea of putting those letters above the entrance of a temple/church/pagoda/whatever – in order for survivors of childhood sexual absuse to be able to forgive God for what he allowed to be done to innocent children.

Maybe it’s time to build an The_Apologizing_God” church/whatever online for those of us who need it on our path to our – not only bodily/emotional/psychosocial but also spiritual – recovery.

Should I really build such a website? Yes!

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